Inside the Mind of India’s Most FEARED Soldier | Col Shivender Kanwar
Colonel Shivender Pratap Singh Kanwar is not the kind of soldier who chases headlines or public glory. A veteran of India’s elite Para Special Forces who rose to command 7 PARA (Special Forces), he represents the rare breed of officers forged in the most demanding combat environments. In a revealing interview on Curly Tales’ Sandese Aate Hai with Kamiya Jani, he offered an unusually candid look into the mind of a Special Forces operator — the motivations, the psychological armour, the personal costs, and the lessons that remain long after the uniform is hung up.
This is not a story of medals or dramatic rescues. It is an exploration of what happens to a man when killing and survival become professional mandates, when silence is survival, and when emotional detachment becomes both a weapon and a lifelong companion.
The Path to Para Special Forces
Col Kanwar began his career conventionally, commissioned into the Madras Regiment. Like many ambitious young officers, he volunteered for the Special Forces. He failed his first probation but succeeded on the second attempt with 2 Para SF. He later served extensively with 7 Para SF, eventually taking command of the unit. He also saw significant counter-insurgency action as a Lieutenant Colonel with 31 Rashtriya Rifles.
Special Forces selection is deliberately brutal. It tests not just physical endurance but the ability to make clear decisions when exhausted, cold, hungry, and under extreme pressure. Col Kanwar has described the probation process and the relentless training that follows as mechanisms designed to create operators who remain effective when conventional soldiers would break.
In his own words, the mandate of Special Forces is uncompromising: “In Special Forces, either you are killing or you are training to kill. There is no other mandate for us.”
“I Am Addicted to Violence”
One of the most striking aspects of Col Kanwar’s public reflections is his honesty about his original motivation. He has stated plainly that his early dream was direct: “My only dream was to kill a man. So I joined the army.” He describes himself as “addicted to violence” and “addicted to combat and extreme violence” — an addiction, he says, that will never completely disappear.
This is not theatrical posturing. It is a raw admission of the psychological profile that Special Forces selection both identifies and intensifies. In units that operate in the shadows, where hesitation can be fatal and split-second decisions carry irreversible consequences, a certain kind of drive becomes functional. Col Kanwar has been open that this drive found its legal and purposeful outlet in the Army.
He has also shared a terrifying personal incident in which a terrorist fired nearly 30 rounds at him from close range. He survived and attributes his survival to divine protection, particularly his faith in Lord Shiva. This experience reportedly strengthened his spiritual beliefs and gave him a deeper sense of purpose.
The Armour of Detachment
Years of operating in high-threat environments reshape how a person experiences emotion. Col Kanwar speaks openly about this transformation:
“My emotional faculties are totally stopped. I have never cried in my life… Sometimes a romantic feeling comes in the heart. No no, nothing happens. I don’t like that kind of feeling.”
This emotional numbing is both a survival adaptation and a lasting consequence. In Special Forces, vulnerability can be dangerous — not just physically, but because it can cloud judgment in moments that demand absolute clarity. The same armour that protects an operator in combat often creates distance in personal relationships. Col Kanwar has acknowledged that family members have complained about this emotional distance.
In its place, he speaks of a different kind of bond: the brotherhood of the unit. The trust and unspoken understanding between operators who have shared extreme conditions often becomes the primary emotional connection. Conventional friendships and romance can feel secondary or even incompatible with the life he has lived.
He has also reflected on the discipline of silence. Many missions never make the news. The weight of classified knowledge, the responsibility for life-and-death decisions, and the need for operational security create a culture where speaking less is often wiser than speaking more.
Life After the Uniform
Retirement has brought visible changes. Col Kanwar has spoken about embracing greater personal freedom, including getting tattoos — something restricted during service. He describes this phase as one of quiet rebellion against the rigid structures he once operated within, while still carrying the core identity of a soldier.
Rather than fade into the background, he has redirected his experience into a new mission: leadership development. Through his platform, he conducts Warrior Mindset bootcamps, corporate programs, and one-on-one coaching. He teaches principles forged in combat — clarity under pressure, disciplined execution, resilience, and leading with intent — to CEOs, founders, and high-performing teams.
His core message is practical: the same mental frameworks that allow Special Forces units to succeed in impossible conditions can help organisations and individuals perform under corporate pressure. Clients report faster decision-making, stronger teams, and leaders who finally have the mental bandwidth to focus on growth instead of constant crisis management.
He often emphasises that stress largely disappears when the mind has a clear, worthwhile goal and practices self-love and discipline. “Stress happens when your mind is empty,” he has noted.
Lessons from the Mind of a Special Forces Veteran
Col Kanwar’s reflections offer insights that extend far beyond the military:
- Purpose is non-negotiable. A compelling reason to act sustains people through conditions that would otherwise break them.
- Emotional regulation is a skill. The ability to stay clear-headed when emotions run high can be developed through training and deliberate practice.
- Brotherhood and trust outperform individual talent. Special Forces succeed because of unbreakable unit cohesion, not lone heroes.
- Silence and discipline have power. Knowing when not to speak is as important as knowing what to say.
- The mind can be rewired. Even after decades in combat environments, new chapters and new applications of old strengths remain possible.
A Soldier Who Never Truly Retires
Col Shivender Kanwar embodies the Special Forces belief that a soldier is never truly out of the fight. The mindset forged in Para SF — extreme ownership, ruthless clarity, and relentless execution — continues to shape how he moves through the world, now applied to developing leaders rather than conducting operations.
His story is intense and unfiltered. It does not romanticise violence or pretend that the psychological costs are negligible. Instead, it offers something rarer: an honest account from someone who has lived at the sharpest edge of service and is willing to speak about what it actually does to a human being.
For those willing to listen, his words reveal both the extraordinary capabilities required of Special Forces operators and the profound, lasting impact of that life. In a world that often prefers comfortable narratives, Col Kanwar’s reflections stand out for their directness and self-awareness.
The man who once dreamed of legally killing now spends his days teaching others how to win under pressure — whether on the battlefield or in the boardroom. The addiction to combat may never fully leave him, but he has found new battlefields on which to fight.
Jai Hind.
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